Losing the Game
by Psyche Eros
Summary: Kaoru doesn't understand why everyone always lets the commoner win. Well, he for one won't let himself lose to someone like her... Or will he?


Oh, how he hated her.

A frown flashed on the younger Hitachiin's face as he watched his brother wrap his arm around Haruhi in some attempt at persuading her to let them visit; not that Kaoru wanted to. Yes he was jealous of her. But not in _that_ way. The whole "brotherly love act" was really just an act, after all. But that didn't mean Kaoru couldn't be jealous. Hikaru _was_ his twin, and he had never been close to another person aside from Kaoru before. It scared him.

Who was she, anyway? What made her think that she could just come into existence like that?

"Kaoru, Kaoru, guess what?" Hikaru said excitedly. The frown vanished from sight.

"What?"

"Haruhi let us come over! This'll be fun."

Kaoru glanced over his twin's shoulder and saw her looking at them, a small curve playing on her lips.

So, she was playing a game?

Who exactly was the better player here? Kaoru smirked.

Right there, he was determined never to let her win.

Oh, how he hated her.

* * *

Oh, how she annoyed him.

"It's time to play the 'Which One is Hikaru' game!"

The delighted squeals from the twins' guests were a strange melody to Kaoru's ears. He smirked inwardly, knowing that no one could ever know their little secret, no matter how many times they tried. To all of them, Hikaru and Kaoru would always be Hikaru and Kaoru. That was the end of that.

But then…

"That's the most pointless game I've ever heard of."

Kaoru's eyes fell on her. There she was, standing there, tray of tea in hand. Haruhi was wearing her signature scowl, which Kaoru liked to see. He was pleased to know that she was annoyed with him as much as he was with her.

"Oh yeah?" Hikaru said from beside him. "Why don't you try?"

A sly glance was shared between Kaoru and his twin. Then in perfectly practiced unison, they signaled the beginning of the game.

"Can you tell which one of us is Kaoru, and which one is Hikaru?"

Haruhi sighed. "The one on the right is Kaoru, and the one on the left is Hikaru."

"Uh-oh, you got it wro~ong!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Come on now, you know I'm right. You two may look alike, but you're actually very different. Hikaru is Hikaru, and Kaoru is Kaoru. You are two separate people. That's the end of that."

A little stunned, Kaoru watched her.

_We are two separate people?_

But that was the secret. How did she find out? He questioned her silently.

She just smiled knowingly.

But there was still _his_ game. He wouldn't let her win that. There was no way.

Oh, how she annoyed him.

* * *

Oh, how he disliked her.

Haruhi approached him, wielding a broom, a little crease appearing on her forehead as she saw Kaoru alone.

"You're by yourself? Where's Hikaru?"

"He's gone to get something for us, he'll be back."

She gave a small smile and relaxed herself for a while. That was when Kaoru noticed the way the wind rippled through her chocolate strands of hair and how her eyes were always so distant like the stars. And like the stars, he just wanted to stare at them for eternity. He found himself moving closer to be able to see those stars better, giving a little jolt when she turned her head to face him.

"Something wrong?"

"Uh, no…"

What was that just now? He couldn't let himself be entranced by her like his brother was. If he fell under her spell, there was no getting out. But she was so enticing, like a glass of ice-cold lemonade on a hot summer day. Would it hurt to take one sip…?

Kaoru shook his head mentally. That was a close one. He shouldn't have felt that way at all. He didn't like it. He cursed himself for his weakness, and he cursed her for being so…

She would not make him her puppet. He would never allow her to beat him.

He wouldn't belong to her. Not now, not ever.

Oh, how he disliked her.

* * *

Oh, how she delighted him.

Kaoru began to like the fluttery sensations in his stomach that he felt whenever Haruhi was near. Slowly, gradually, he let himself be enveloped by her magic spell. He saw now why the other members of the Host Club and his brother had allowed her to enter their lives.

Would he do the same? Would he open the door? If he did, he would lose the game.

"Kaoru! What do you think you're doing?" she demanded as he held the book as high as his five feet nine inch height could take it.

"No homework for you today, you're going to play with me."

She looked at him exasperatedly. "_After_ I study."

He stuck out his tongue. "Study _after_ we play."

"What do you want to play?"

"I'm playing right now!"

"Oh, what kind of game is this?"

"The 'Annoy Haruhi Fujioka' game."

He grinned at her. Her lower lip was starting to jut out as her angry little pout began. This was the prize of the game. Seeing her like this, it thrilled Kaoru. This was an epic sight; Haruhi Fujioka admitting defeat at last?

She suddenly stood up and left him.

"Well, I'm not letting you win."

Kaoru went after her. "I was just kidding. Here," he said, handing her back her textbook.

It was her turn to grin.

He let the light wash through him, savoring the rare moment.

"Looks like I won, Kaoru."

"Psh, I just let you win."

And it was the truth. For in losing the game, he had made her smile. That was the prize.

So, he let her win? Maybe.

Oh, how she delighted him.

* * *

Oh, how he hated her.

He realized how much he hated her whenever she had no time for him, but spent it with someone else. He hated her for being so busy everyday. All he wanted was a little second with her to call his own. Was that so wrong? …Perhaps a few weeks ago, it would have been, but now…

Oh, how she annoyed him.

He noticed how much it annoyed him when he finally got her attention, but in a way that makes her eyes roll and her voice hiss out something that always sounded like, "This is why I hate you." She annoyed him whenever she noticed all the little things that he missed out on. Why could he not look at things the way she did?

Oh, how he disliked her.

He disliked her for making him so confused, always so giddy. He disliked her for being the only person that could honestly say that "Kaoru is Kaoru." That he is not his brother. That he is different. That he is unique, just like everyone else is. He disliked the fact that it had to be this commoner girl who made him open his eyes and let him see the world through hers.

Oh, how she delighted him.

Despite all that, the mere fact that he was with her gave him unexplainable giddiness. He felt as if he were a little child in an amusement park for the very first time. She was a terrifying rollercoaster, taking him high up, down low, through every unexpected twist and turn. But at the end of it all, there was her smile. And behind that lay the purest form of delight he had ever known in his life.

All he was sure of was that he wanted to feel this way every single day. And the only way for that to happen was if he accepted her as a part of him. He had to lose to her.

But Kaoru knew, deep inside, that he had been fighting a losing battle all along.

Ever since the beginning, she had already won him over.

And oh, how he loved her.

* * *

_The twins cast sideway looks at one another, as if to say, _this is it. _Kaoru grinned, and all five boys who were standing nearby returned the gesture. The Host Club, together even at this moment. They said they wouldn't miss it for the world. _

_Then the piano began to play, and the whole world suddenly stopped revolving around the sun. At that exact moment when she walked in—her hand on her father's arm and a radiant glow emanating from her presence—Kaoru knew that the world revolved around her. Like it always had. Like it always will._

_He watched in anticipation as she floated dreamily down the aisle, wearing an immaculately white gown and a face alight with unexplainable happiness._

_Once she reached the end of the aisle, the Host Club wrapped her in a heartfelt embrace. One by one, they murmured their best wishes, and Kaoru knew it was his turn next. _

_He held her hand for only a moment while he looked deep into her eyes—those majestic things that lit up his world—and tried to pour his heart out into them. His lips softly brushed one rosy cheek, and in that one second, he wished that it might never end._

_Kaoru looked on as Hikaru led her to the altar, and before he knew it, his tears were falling. Not because the game was finally over, but for the mere fact that she was still turning around to look at him. He cried; not because he had lost, but because Haruhi smiled._

_As he witnessed her being taken away from him right before his very eyes, he cried because he knew that she was happy that way. _

_And it was the truth. For in losing the game, he had made her smile. That was the prize._

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys understood this one. Fo those of you who didn't (?!), basically, Kaoru ends up falling in love with Haruhi but losing her to Hikaru all the same.**

**Just another drabble, I think? Oh well. I didn't really have much to put in here, which is sad. Boohoo!!**

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**Oh, by the way... I'd like to thank the people who have been REVIEWing my work, and the dudes and dudettes who faved them. You all rock!!!**

**\m/(^^,)**

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